Recently I have been full of positive energy, this should seem like positive news for anyone who knows or reads me. Well, yes and no is the answer to that supposition. I have to admit that whilst being carried away on a tide of positive vibes recently, I heve been secretly expecting and dreading the backlash.
The backlash simply has to follow. I’m not yet in possession of any knowledge that can prevent the backlash from occuring.
Well phil, just what is this backlash you speak of? Put simply, it’s just negative energy. Whether or not it’s energy that has been surpressed by my recent good moods or just powerful negativity that has been waiting to rush in and overwhelm a slowly receding positive Phil, I can’t say for sure. It’s here though and I’m vile.
Is it normal to just hate and degrade everything around you, with no reasonable argument to support such feeling? It can’t be. The sad and strange part is that it seriously undermines my efforts to improve myself as a human being. Such depth of feeling seems to haul me down into the gutter alongside the very things I abhore.
I want to nice and calm and understanding but today I’m full of bitterness. Don’t know what’s more embarrassing really, feeling this way or telling you that I feel this way.
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